If detroit didn’t have the red wings, the entire city would crumble in misery for lack of anything to live for
You’re completely right. In fact, you’re so right that I spent my entire desperate, overcast Detroit day walking around downtown with 30,000 of my totally demoralized and miserable friends doing a Race for the Cure to help find the fight on cancer. I mean, we were all so depressed with our lives that all we did was show up, eat some pizza, drink some whiskey to drown our sorrows and head back to our soon-to-be foreclosed or burned out homes.
Also, we just had the crappiest electronic music festival last weekend, where over 75,000 people, who must hate their lives too, showed up and, I don’t know, danced all weekend to some of the best DJs the world has to offer.
The weekend before that, a terrible turnout of only 1.2 million idiots showed up to hang out at the Downtown Hoedown. I mean, they all probably thought it was a “crack hoe down” since that’s completely commonplace here. Imagine their surprise when they found out it was a county music festival! City suicides must’ve increased by 1000%! Only 1.1 million made it out alive, am I right?! AMIRIGHT?!
Fuck… I mean, I get it. We’re an easy target. But I have to think telling jokes about Detroit is like telling a fart joke to a room of first graders. Sure, it’ll go over well with the audience but it should make you feel dirty for getting the cheap laugh and not working harder.
Way to kick a city when we’re down. As someone with their finger on the pulse of this city, let me reassure you, we won’t crumble in misery without the Wings. Now, I’m going back to watching the best hockey team you’ve ever seen win another championship since that’s all I have to live for.
(Yes, I’m overreacting to a stupid little joke but I’m tired of having this stereotypical image being projected by people, who I would wager, have never even been to Detroit. In fact, maybe I’ll head down to one of our casinos and place that bet.)
